Monday, February 22, 2010

Music Video Story- Hey Soul Sister by Train

Hey Soul Sister…

I was sitting in the café, and waiting. I’m early, but I don’t care. I’ve been thinking about this day all week. I was staring at the wall drinking hot chocolate with a pile of whipped cream on top. It always reminds me of her. We would always go to the corner café about a way from the old high school. We’d share a hot coco. She always ate the whipped cream, and she’s get angry at me if I ate it first. She has away of doing this to me. All the little things remind me of her, and when I starting thinking about her I start remembering all the good times that we had. They start flooding into my brain, and I can’t stop it no matter how much I want it to stop.

I started thinking about that time in my kitchen. We were eating my world famous grilled cheese, and listening to the radio. An upbeat song came on, and she stood up, almost in a trance, with a huge smile on her face, and started to dance. I wasn’t sure of what I should do. I laughed at her at first, like she was telling a joke, but she wasn’t. She was just dancing. I told her that if she keeps dancing like that she would break all the china in my kitchen, but I don’t even think she heard me. She was so concentrated on the music. The beat was all around her. She was the beat. She was the rhythm. I did the only other thing I could do. I got up and started dancing with her, but not on her, if you know what I mean. If we were in a night club, we would have gotten kicked out for being too dorky. But we we’re in a night club, we were in my kitchen, dancing like maniacs. We jumped up and down, disco moves, crazy dancing from the 80’s, and our strange version of the jitterbug. I know it sounds awkward, but it strangely wasn’t. If I was in my world, I would have been crazy, and weird, but I wasn’t in my world. I was in her world, a world were dancing like go-go dancers was perfectly normal and a world that I was only allowed in every ounce in awhile, but it didn’t matter because I loved her.

I looked around the café, and the person who invade me dreams too much still wasn’t here. I looked down at my watch, and I remembered all the times that she used to grab my arm, before we were together, just to check the time. She did that the first time I have ever worn watch, and I’ve worn a watch every single day since that day all those years ago. I used to wear it because I wanted to grab my arm again and check the time, and she always did. I haven’t seen or heard from her in over five years, so I don’t know no why I still wear a watch. Maybe because of habit or maybe because everyday I still wish she would come up behind me and touch my arm to check the time.

As I came out of my trance, I heard the bell over the door to the café ring. It wasn’t her.

4 comments:

  1. you can make this a full story by adding in other memories or more characterization. maybe there was a conflict that made it harder for them to stay together, and why they haven't seen eachother in 5 years. =)

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  2. I think this is really great so far :) I just don't get this one sentence, "I looked around the café, and the person who invade me dreams too much still wasn’t here." When you say invade me dreams, shouldn't it be my dreams instead? Also it's really good that you used a lot of descriptions. Add a conflict like Grace said, that'll make it better. Anyways, good job and keep it up!

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  3. I think you used a significant amount of memories why this character how this character feels about this girl. I think that you may want to add more about the main character at a point and describe in more detail the setting. Later on you may also want to include some dialouge and present events. Also, you should be more specific why you cant stop thinking about her what different is she from other people, how you meet her, etc.

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  4. I thought your story was really interesting, my favorite part was in your third paragraph where you explained very well of the moment they had shared with her in their own house. I think this story would also flow very well if you maybe put some more descriptions into your story. For instance, maybe you could explain more about the hot chocolate and how it sort of reminds you of her by saying how they are sort of similar. Good job.

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